Hey Everyone! I hope that you all are doing well! In early July, I took a girs trip with Maribel and Erika to New Orleans. I have always wanted to visit the French Quarter and experience the liveliness. The Essence Festival served as the icing on the cake for our decision on New Orleans. We saw so many celebrities! This trip prefaced a continuation of racial divide that impacted me so much. Spending this time with my friends was awesome and I am thankful for the opportunity to experience life outside of my norm. In the future, I hope to continue to travel the world, and to learn about varying cultures. I want to absorb what the world has to offer. 

By far, this place was our favorite restaurant! We are so much that we were sleepy! We could hardly walk after dining. I stepped outside of my comfort zone and tried fried alligator bites. They were delicious! Clearly there were racial undertones with the name of this place. You can tell by the photo on the menu front. I need to do more research on its origins. 

Dress: Torrid, Shoes: Payless 

We went to a jazz club and a reggae club. Frenchman Street is home to many live music establishments. I was in heaven. Horns and saxophones, drums and people dancing. I was called on stage at the reggae club and danced. 

We frequented Cafe Du Monde for the Beignets. 

There we saw Keri Hilson and Letoya Luckett. 

We watched the fireworks on the riverfront. 

I am angry. Black people continued to be murder by people that are paid to protect. The legal system covers up these crimes. Privileged people turn a blind eye to injustices and continue living life as if these murders or racism doesn’t bother them. 

I’m sick of being the silent, smiling negro, in predominantly white spaces. People only like you when you are yes sir – ing and no ma’aming. Being a vocal, outspoken, articulate black person isn’t accepted. I’m sick of going into spaces where people don’t mention the murders of my people but talked all day about a damn monkey at the zoo. Like, I am sick. People screaming all lives but really mean that the don’t give a crap about black lives. I’m tired of having to shuffle to make a living for people that probably wouldn’t give a crap if I was the hashtag floating around the news and social media. All lives don’t matter until Black Live Matter. We exited New Orleans either the day of or the day after Alton Sterling was senselessly murdered. I’ve been consumed with rage and sadness. Name after name, person after person. I’m just so sick. I’m not begging to exist. I’m telling you that I have just as much right to exist as you do. 

I have spent most of my life being one of or the only diversity in the room. It’s freaking exhausting! People say things and either don’t realize that it’s prejudice or they don’t care. I have to suck it up to keep my bills paid, or to keep my status quo. It’s mentally and emotionally exhausting.  

It’s so weird to see people excited about black people on the Olympics but they don’t care about our quality of life in reality. When people only talk about police mattering but justify murder or black kids, women, men etc, I don’t get it. I literally felt like walking  away from everything in my life and being a hermit. 

I am tired of explaining how I feel. I am sick of trying to get people think humanely. My blog will not be a place to pacify people’s feelings and privilege. 

I am frustrated. I am sad. I am angry. I am tired. We are tired. 

When everyone feels comfortable in their conservative, republican ideology but you can’t express yourself as freely as they do…. I’m exhausted. I’ve been in a state of rage for a while now. I am thoroughly enraged. You can unfollow me, block me, ignore me. Do you. I’m just tired.  

Being black in a white space, you have to cut your emotions and detach or you will go crazy. People don’t understand their power and privilege. Frankly, most don’t care to understand. For sometime now, I’ve been tip toeing around my anger. I am so enraged. 

 

I have many masks for the world. A mask for work, a mask for social life, and then a mask for home. I’m overwhelmed, trying to entertain others. I’m drained. 

Can I live? is now I can live. I will. We will. 

What can I do to make things better? I am still trying to figure it out. How do o help? I do I create change. I want to be an active participant in the change.