Happy New Year Loves,
Can you believe that January is almost over? Where does the time go? As I entered the new year, I reflected on the lessons that I learned during 2020, lessons about myself, my relationships, my career goals, my faith and life overall. For many, 2020 was the worst year ever. Last year was ridden with death, sickness, isolation, job loss, political clownery, sheer sadness and peak frustration. Still, aside from the heaviness of 2020, the year forced me to become a warrior. Last year reminded us all that life is short, and that NOW is the time to go after the life you desire and deserve to live.
As 2021 began, I was reminded of a song that I sang from the move Dreamgirls, “I Am Changing”. When I sang this song in college, I sang it during my senior year at the Black Student Union Pageant. During that time, I was at a crossroad in my life. My friendships were changing and I was afraid of my life post graduation. This song meant so much to met during this period. The lyrics read:
This time I am
I get my life together now.
I am changing
Yes I know how
I’m gonna start again.
I’m gonna leave my past behind
I’ll change my life.
I make it up
And nothing is gonna stop me now.
In 2020, I was drowning in depression and frustration. Quite frankly, I was enraged with where I was in my life. The waves were constantly ranging and I could never catch my breath or catch my stride. My mom experienced severe health issues that resulting in her moving in with me, so I became a caretaker. I had to pause graduate school because of work and caretaking. My job was a madhouse. My love life was toxic. Somehow, I woke up, and everyone was taking from me without refilling. My depression was at an all time high. Amy finances were at an all time low. My faith was being tested daily. I contemplated suicide, just so I could be free and have peace. Every aspect of my life was in shambles. My realizing that I had settled for existing in spaces where I was not valued, where I was used, and where I could not grow, broke my heart. The accountability set in. The only person to blame for this dry place was me. I let people take advantage of me. I failed to both set and maintain healthy boundaries. As I rang in 2021, My prayer to God was that I get out of my dry place and NEVER operate in spaces where my value and worth are not recognized. My next prayer was that I would never forget that he created me with value, worth and purpose. Moving forward, I vow to do the following as an advocate for myself:
- Not be afraid to demand what I need. My needs are not negotiable.
- Confidently say no without explanation
- Not be impressed with the bare minimum
- No longer prioritize jobs and people before my relationship with God
- Work hard for my personal brand and goals instead of building up an organization
- Give more grace to myself and others
- Maintain my standards and expectations in my dating life.
- Be more open with worship and praise.
- Get comfortable with solitude.
- Trust God
In Church, we are discussing the importance of changing our mindsets in order to yield a different, more fruitful result. My goal for 2021 is to focus solely on Building My Glam Life. To do that, I am changing my mindset and changing my behavior. Can’t do the same things and expect new results. Doing so is insane. I’ll discuss what Building My Glam Life Means in a separate post, but I am so happy about the revelations that I experienced in 2021.
What lessons did you learn from 2020?
Until Next Time,